Delayed Flight Musings

I'm in the Iquitos airport now trying to kill the time of a 5 hour delayed flight. I have had some interesting thoughts come up during my travels and I wanted to discuss some of them here. None of the ideas are fully laid out, and I don't express them in the most articulate way, so please forgive me.

For much of my life I have struggled with white guilt and privilege. One of my many intentions for traveling in South America was to re-calibrate my global perspective. But how does one travel in South America without flaunting privilege? I'm not even talking about wealth, here. By privilege I mean that I have white skin and that I have a USA passport. I can't change these things, so where does one go from here?
I feel like I have been very conscious about how I present myself in Peru, and I try to be as respectful as I know how to be given the circumstances. The ambiguity of the previous statement is intentional, because I have interacted with people in ways that would be considered horrendously rude back in the States. I believe my actions were justified in all the situations, however... ignoring men who cat call or say objectifying comments; not engaging in conversation with people who do ask sincere questions like "where are you from?", but clearly only using it as a segue to sell something; embracing the rude, aggressive and sometimes frustrating pedestrian style that is required to get anywhere by foot (yes, it would even send the most resilient New Yorkers into a sour state of mind). I do mess up sometimes, such as accidentally saying "thank you" instead of "muchas gracias", but I really do try to be respectful and kind.
I'm not claiming I'm perfect, so I do feel a little hypocritical when I judge other western travelers. I appreciate that they are getting out into the world, but the periodic cluelessness of their place in it disgusts me sometimes. For example, Matt and I were eating in a restaurant in Huaraz after our trek and there was a table of middle aged gringos next to us. A man leaned over with the menu to ask us if we could translate some of the items for him, while he slaughtered the Spanish pronunciation of his words with his dripping english gringoism. Alright  that's okay, they don't know Spanish and props to them for still being brave enough to come to Peru. I have had trouble with pronunciation at times too. We struck up conversation with them, and they explained that they were with a group of doctors who come to Peru every year to give medical and dental treatment to all of the "poor people". POOR PEOPLE?! Oh, good grief. I have begun to despise this term. They sat there basking in the glory of their altruistic efforts, without a single clue that the people here arguably live richer lives than they could ever imagine! I interject with one of my favorite quotes here, but its borderline plagiarism because I have no idea who said it: "There are some people who are so poor, the only thing they have is money."
News flash! People are only considered 'poor' if there are 'rich' people around. This may seem counter-intuitive at first to the western mind because rich and poor seem to be dictated by how much money you have, if you have electricity, and access to reliable transportation. My experiences in south america have shown me that this is not the case. Peruvians aren't ingrained in the 'system' like westerners are, so it easy for them to live without money if that's the way they chose to live. I saw that all over Huaraz and in Iquitos. Families in Huaraz grew all their own food, had their own livestock, did laundry in the rivers, commuted by foot, and built their homes out of local supplies. Similarly, families in Iquitos got much of their food from the jungle and from the chickens that seemed to inhabit every home. They as well did laundry in the river, extracted their medicines from plants in the jungle, and used the abundance of palm leaves and trees as building materials for their homes. When in need of a few extra soles, they can easily trade a skill or bounty of the land. Such a lifestyle keeps families close and some of the strongest work ethics I've ever witnessed in my life. I have met some of the most healthy, fit, hardworking people in my entire life in Peru. No, they don't have electricity in their homes or running water, but I would consider their lives so incredibly rich and whole. Oh yep, and there goes the US sending more missionaries to Iquitos to 'save' them. UGH

Westerners came to Iquitos and the turmoil that ensued is in part why I got such sketchy vibes from the city at times. Westerners not only glorified the institution of money, but also to imposed many of their 'modern' ideas. I'll never forget Larry, my guide who grew up in the jungle, telling me that they didn't like it when the white man came to their village to teach them how to filter their water - claiming it was better for their health and vitality. Larry commented that the village had been around for decades, so if the water was really that bad then the village wouldn't have still been there. Just because the water isn't at a purification acceptable by western standards, doesn't mean that it is bad. Westerners just have super sensitive, chemically trained guts, so how would they know what is best for the people of the amazon? Truth. I'm sure the US would have a hissy fit if folks from the Amazon came to lecture them about how terrible western medicine is, which actually is something that I think western civilization could benefit greatly from. But that's another conversation.

There is a pocket of gringos in Iquitos who moved here from either the US, Europe, or Canada  They set us businesses around the 'safe' parts of Iquitos - winning over the trust (and therefore the money) of western travelers simply because they also have white skin, speak english, and have a western style welcome. I'm surprised that haven't all grouped together and petitioned for a McDonalds to be erected right in the middle of Iquitos! They sit there in their gringo world in Iquitos, all day every day (haha and mostly on the computer), wholeheartedly embracing the white privilege they exercise over the true Iquitos residents. Peruvians try to compete for the gringo business - causing an unpleasant scene of harassment, trickery, greed, and bribery towards tourists. Thank you, old white fat guys (especially the one from Texas flaunting a stupid Mitt Romney sign from the balcony of his restaurant) for making Iquitos the shallowist place on earth! Well, that's a little harsh, but deserved. I did have great conversations with many of the gringos who have set up in Iquitos, and the style of welcome was very comforting at times, being a gringo solo backpacker and all.

So here's something I wrestling with now, in light of the above. Traveling is possibly one of the most selfish acts; I mean this in more ways than one. Culturally, I move too fast between places to properly learn the culture, the accent, which businesses are worth supporting, etc. Economically, I am beyond lucky that I have the opportunity to travel for so long (this is two-fold, because I am also not working), even though my funds are quite minimal. Environmentally, I have an incredibly enlarged carbon footprint with the amount of time I have spent in planes, cars, buses, motocarros, and motor boats. Socially, every single thing I do day to day for these 3 months are solely for ME - which is the most selfish thought of all! I have no one to take care of, no one to work for, no one that I am required to keep in touch with... I could easily become a global nomad and "Do wad I wunt!" for the rest of my life. Don't worry, that won't happen :) Yes, I am upset at how much time I have spent during my trip so far dealing with the guilt of traveling. It's terrifying to think I'm spending my entire life savings for something I don't completely agree with. Wow - take that and chew it. So how do I resolve this internal battle? Sigh. I humbly accept my privilege, and I understand that I have the duty to carry the weight of it. I rely on my heart and good intentions, my curiosity, and my sense of adventure to continuously show me that there is nothing else I would rather be doing.

So, moving past that, I would like to bring up that there have been several points in my travel that I have been really embarrassed to be from the States. It seems as though people view the USA as something so artificial and close minded, yet somehow still has a gigantic ego. I can't even count how many jokes I have heard at the expense of the authorities at the US border - too funny! I've met so many travelers who have struggled getting visas to visit the US, and they don't understand why. In fact, I have several friends who live in the US, who have serious relationships with someone from another country, and continuously battle and endless series of paperwork in hopes their significant other can someday be introduced to their family in the States. I had some really interesting discussions with some of the Israelis I met earlier in my travels. Why was it that one little bombing incident in Boston (with minimal fatalities) entertained international headlines for days, yet bombs go off every single day in their country (totaling in an extraordinary number fatalities) and the world doesn't seem to care? I don't have a good answer to that one, do you? They concluded, rather accurately, that the US is just a big cry baby.
Canadian and Australian backpackers all share a common bond - they are so glad they aren't from the States (aka the United Shits of America). Matt (Australia) and Rob (Canada) made this point very clear to me during our adventures together, which I never argued with. "It's ok. You're secretly one of us," Matt would say with a stupid grin. This brings me back to my backpacking days in Australia, where I just told people I was from Canada because they automatically treated me way nicer than they did folks from the US. Once I got to know people, I would tell them I was from the US, and they would be shocked. "What?! But you're so fun!" Good travel tip, by the way!
One thing that I am grateful for is that I can go to almost any country I want without much hassle. I can get visas at the border, which is quite convenient. Matt had to frantically run around once we got to Iquitos to get passport photos for his visa applications for other south american countries, so his paperwork could be processed by the time he got out of the jungle. Yeeesh - that sounds stressful. The joke is still on the US though, yet again: Bolivia charges only USA citizens a "fuck you fee" of $145 to enter the country. Everybody else can come and go as they please. Nice work, Bolivia!

Finally - a boarding announcement! More to come to later, folks. Please share your thoughts with me! One way discussions are quite difficult :)