Sur-arrival of the Fittest

[I hope at least you bio minded folks can find the humor in the title of this post. That's right - I'm witty and punny as what]

As you may have now gathered, I have made it safely to Lima, Peru. Phew, what a long day of travel!

My plane rides were more or less uneventful. There was, however, someone in the cabin with a horrendous flatulence issue. I was prepared though; I recently spent 2 days in close proximity with my twin brother who rocks a strict vegan diet.
Somewhere around the Caribbean Sea, we flew over the most spectacular lighting storm! I watched in awe for a good half hour, but it only got better. Once we had passed the storm, there was a very defined wall between the ominous thunderheads and the most beautiful sunset. As I'm not a very shy person, I didn't hesitate to point out the view to the person sitting next to me (a retired engineer from Philly). He was way less excited than I was, but nonetheless interested. I know this because he offered to share his pretzels with me as we watched the sunset.

My day finally got interesting upon arrival into Lima. I made it through immigration quickly and wandered over to baggage claim. I waited, and waited, and then the baggage carousal stopped. Hmmm...interesting...wasn't expecting that. If you think trying to figure out what happened to your bag is difficult, try doing it in Spanish. It appears as though United thought it necessary that my bag stay an extra day in the US - typical. Cool, something to do tomorrow!

With only the address of my hostel in hand, I set out to find a taxi. Easy enough. My eyes were stinging with exhaustion because I thought it was a good idea to stay up until 5 am last night. However, there's nothing like a Lima taxi ride to wake you up! It's rather entertaining actually.
In theory there are 3 lanes of traffic, but it was more common than not for 2 cars to share a lane. No, the lanes are not any wider than they are in the states. It seems customary that the moment the light turns green, everybody honks. From the dainty little clown horn sounds of the mototaxis to the terrifying drones of the big buses - Lima's streets make quite a symphony. Most of the street lights have a countdown timer until the light changes, which I found to serve 2 purposes: when to begin honking and when a pedestrian's death sentence begins if they are still in the street. I was amazed at how good of condition the roads were in! But maybe this is because I just came from Cleveland which is effectively one big pothole.
In short, here is what I've gathered about how to drive in Lima:
1) never signal - just honk
2) stop suddenly and as randomly as possible
3) what speed limit?
4) point your car in the direction you ultimately want to go
5) do not obey any signs
6) accelerate towards pedestrians
Come to think about it....my mother meets the criteria for at least 4 of the above...she would make an amazing Peruvian driver!

My taxi dropped me off in front of my hostel. No, I didn't get robbed, raped, mugged, kidnapped, or stabbed. I explained to the hostel folks that I had a reservation for this hostel tonight in the best Spanish I could muster. The 3 'owners' looked at each other, shook their heads, and laughed. Yep, I am a gringo! It will be impossible for me to feel welcome at this place; I'm just thankful I feel safe. I'm okay being the butt of jokes - I can hold my own just fine. Let's be honest: I really am pretty freakin' white.